Kids don't come with manuals. It's a cliche, but it's true. Many authors have attempted to fill in this gap however. I recently read a book by Dr. Neil Bernstein that I thought was particularly good. In There When He Needs You, Dr. Bernstein speaks primarily to fathers about raising their sons. He describes the father-son dynamic as a distinct relationship that is influenced greatly by the previous generation. In other words, we are influenced by the way we were raised by our fathers when we try to parent our sons. While his focus is on this dynamic, I imagine this holds true for the mother-daughter relationship too, as well as influences father-daughter and mother-son dynamics. He is a psychologist who recounts stories of men and their sons and how he helped them, and sometimes couldn't helpthem, work through their issues.
His top 10 Tips for Dads include:
1) Strike a comfortable balance between career and family.
2) Make peace with your own father.
4) Be "all there" when you're with your son.
8) Acknowledge your own shortcomings and encourage your son to do the same.
The other 6 tips are good too and he fleshes them out well in the chapters. There is even a chapter that advises mothers in ways to help their husbands become better fathers. If any of this advice might apply to you, check out this book.
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